Pulling out of an unhappy fellowship?

In our most recent "how can we help you?" thread, a reader asks:

I am beginning my second year in a clinical ethics fellowship. I am very unhappy with the program as I think I am not getting what I was promised. Moreover, I do not think that I really fit in with others in the department; something I have not yet experienced throughout my education, so it is quite jarring. During my first year, I gave several talks and published two articles and two commentaries. How bad would it look if I dropped out and went on the philosophy or medical ethics or health humanities markets this fall? Should I just stick it out for another 10 months? I don't know what to do. I have fairly substantial savings, so if I got some random job working at a grocery store or whatever, I wouldn't be too worried about money. Please help

Yikes, I'm sorry to hear this, but I guess I'm a bit uncertain what to advise. If you're deeply unhappy in a job or fellowship, then I think you have no obligation to continue on--but then again, assuming the fellowship is in the Northern Hemisphere, it seems to me pretty late to pull out of it at such a late date.

What do readers think?

Comments

[Cap]

It generally looks better to apply for jobs with a job already. Can you stick it out but do the bare minimum, or substantially less, and just apply for jobs while collecting the stipend and completely reneging on any obligations that come with it?

[Tenured now]

If you drop out now, I suspect that that will be a red flag for hiring departments - but I agree that you can absolutely go on the market now *without* formally leaving the job, and just do as little as possible/try to be around folks there as little as possible.

[Bioethics Joe Schmoe]

I can understand how difficult it is to work daily feeling like you don't fit in. That can have a real impact on your mood and ability to do your job. Are the issues particular to the institution/department rather than the profession?

One thing to consider is that leaving the fellowship will likely make it very difficult to pursue clinical ethics in the future (if that is something that interests you), as departments and hospitals will want to know why you did not finish the fellowship.

If you do not want to pursue clinical ethics, I both agree and disagree with Cap's advice - I think you should consider finishing out the fellowship to help yourself on the job market this year, unless you have an opportunity that would pay the bills for the year while you're applying to jobs. You would need references as well, and remaining in the program makes that easier.

I disagree with the suggestion of doing less than bare minimum or reneging on obligations one has in the clinical ethics fellowship. Clinical ethics fellowships are not like research postdocs - their work impacts patient care, the reputation of the ethics service in the partnering hospital(s), etc. If the choice is this or leaving, I think leaving is preferable.

[anon]

10 months is not really that long in the grand scheme of things. It depends on how bad things really feel I guess, but given the description we have on hand, in this situation I would see myself sticking it out for: (i) some more money, (ii) marginal potential gains in terms of looking better in terms of having more continuous employment before I start my next position, (iii) marginal potential gains in terms of avoiding potential annoyance of people running the fellowship.

Also, maybe I'm missing something with the culture of this program maybe, but if you do want a philosophy job and this position ends in ten months, right now is job market season for you regardless of whether you pull out of this position early.

[Don't Quit, Quiet Quit]

Weirdly, this exact thing happened to me in my clinical ethics fellowship, and I, too, considered pulling out several times in year 2 (and, well, year 1). So, I empathize very strongly with the OP here.

But I'd be hesitant to advise pulling out for the reason that Cap mentions: your job prospects will likely be better if you're trying to launch yourself from a fellowship, particularly if people in your department are your letter-writers and would be put off by your leaving. It might still be justified if your current fellowship is so toxic that you find it difficult to do what will help get you a permanent job (research, networking, etc.). But I think there's a strong presumption against leaving.

I'm sorry. I don't know if 'quiet quitting' is an option for you, but if so, I'd recommend it. Try to focus on things you do care about, things that will advance your career. Use your fellowship's resources (e.g., conference funding) as much as you can.

For what it's worth, I had a horrible two years in my fellowship, but then I ended up getting a tenure-track job at a good philosophy department in a desirable area. After I signed the contract, I literally stopped doing anything that I didn't want to do in connection with the fellowship (e.g., I stopped going to almost all meetings, interacting with toxic colleagues, etc.). I left no insult unanswered. It was awesome. I hope the same for you.

[OP]

Thanks for the tips everyone. The fellowship was advertised as providing training but the first year had little to no formal training. I read random articles and went to consults sometimes. One person in the program is really great and they have helped me immensely. Honestly without that person I would have left immediately. The first day I arrived I was told philosophy is stupid and a waste of time. I was told that nothing I learned would be helpful. The project I proposed in my cover letter, which was supposed to be supervised, was completely forgotten and I ended up just working independently for the past year. I am currently applying to philosophy jobs but I suspect I wont get anything. I think that pessimism is driving my desire to leave since I dont think it is going to really help my future.

[Trevor Hedberg]

It definitely feels bad to work in a place where what you do isn't valued and where you are generally not supported. The whole arrangement sounds like a case of bad mentorship. That said, clinical ethics work can be a useful credential if one is looking for an academic job in bioethics.

I also broadly agree with the remarks others have made that there's a strong presumption against leaving the fellowship early. Stick it out, cut out any optional commitments tied to it, and devote your energies toward a transition to a new job. Since your fellowship is coming to a natural end this year anyway (and others will know that), you should be able to get out of some things by saying you need to spend time prepping materials or sending out job applications.

[Clinical Ethicist]

I am going to speak very narrowly to the nature of a clinical ethics fellowship: if the OP wants to work in clinical ethics consultation (i.e., be doing ethics consultation in patient care) then completing a fellowship is important (maybe essential?) training. Typically, a two year fellowship is the hiring standard/expectation for clinical ethics jobs at most major medical centers.

That said, it sounds like this fellowship is not fulfilling the training expectations one should have to do high quality ethics consultation (which is a problem that needs to be addressed - especially if hiring institutions assume it is a solid training foundation). Also, the OP may not desire a job doing clinical ethics consultation and in that case, then a clinical ethics fellowship is not a necessary training to teach or research in bioethics.

One thing to consider IF the OP wants a job in clinical ethics is to see if it is possible to reach out to other fellowship programs and see if they can accept a "transfer" fellow mid-program and make it clear that you are trying to get a level of training that your fellowship is not currently offering. However, I would only do this if your career goal is clinical ethics consultation and not general bioethics research/teaching.

Happy to field direct questions about this if the OP is interested and Marcus wants to put us in touch.