In our newest "how can we help you?" thread, a reader ('failure') asks:
How do you get over academic jealousy?
I applied to a wide range of Ph.D. programs this cycle. I only have offers from a few very low-ranked or unranked Ph.D. programs. The rest are rejections, so no hope of getting out of a waitlist to a better program. If I accept one of these offers, I believe, based on the comments here and elsewhere, the students' comments on APDA and elsewhere, and my experiences so far, that (1) I will have much worse job prospects both in kind and number in an already bad market, (2) I will get taken seriously much less both in the philosophy academia generally and my specialty specifically, (3) I will get read less, and (4) I will not be as respected among my peers and faculty everywhere. Equally importantly, I am hesitant to accept one of the offers I have because I strongly believe that (i) I will probably never stop feeling jealous and resentful, and that (ii) I will probably never stop believing that my feelings are apt because I have been done an injustice. Here is why.
I believe a significant number of people had better applications than me and they reasonably received better offers (By 'better' I mean the academic achievements on their CV, their fit to the program as stated on their SoP, and the strength of their writing sample). This is great. However, the problem is, I also believe that I had a better -or at least as good- application than a significant number of people who received much better offers. Of course, this problem belief may be false, and I would very much like it to be false, in order to trust how things work. But, given how things work, I will probably never know if the problem belief is false and, if so, why. Neither will do my professors, friends, and other applicants with whom I have been discussing this. I can no longer deal with the negativity this situation generates for me. Either I need to accept my failure as evidence that (a) I am a worse philosopher than I think I am, and so I should not mind being treated as such, or (b) I have been done an injustice; I am not a worse philosopher than I think I am, even though I did get much worse offers than people whose applications are not much better than me.
If (a), then I think I should quit. If I don't have enough self-knowledge or ability to understand why I fail even at the entrance to the discipline, then this is good evidence that I am simply not cut out for the highest level of academic philosophy. If (b), then I think my feelings of resentment (i-ii) are apt, and I will never be able to deal with the inferior treatment (1-4, and more) I would receive had I accepted one of the offers I currently have. Still, in this case, I think I should quit.
Applying again is an option, of course. But, if we should trust how things work, there's no point in doing that if I believe I did everything I could do this time, which I do. And, if we don't trust how things work, then, again, there's no point in "improving" my application and hope for the best.
Is there any way out of this?
I'm curious to hear what readers think. From talking to people over many years, my sense is that academic jealousy is common, and that unfairness (unfortunately) is a fact of life that we all must find a way to grapple with the best that we can--which some do by adopting a kind of stoicism, or detaching from competitive aspects of the profession, focusing instead on other parts of life (friends, family, etc.) and intrinsic rewards (e.g., enjoying research and teaching for their own sake); whereas others may respond in different ways. Is academic jealously worse than jealousy in other areas of life, or other occupations? Maybe, I'm not sure--though I guess I wouldn't be surprised. In any case, I'm not sure what to recommend to the OP. We're all different of course, but if they already find the situation intolerable, then perhaps they've arrived at the best practical conclusion. I don't know.
What do you all think?
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