Questions about what to do when accepted or waitlisted at grad programs

In our newest "how can we help you?" thread, a reader writes (I've renumbered things to make things easier for readers):

As someone who applied to PhD programs this cycle, I'd like to post some questions about PhD applications, as the results are coming out soon (some are already out). Some of these are personal, some are from friends who also applied. In particular, I wonder what one should do as admissions/waitlists come out.

Here are some things that I think everyone should do:

1. If already decided to join program A, or decided not to join program B, while having an offer from B, inform program B asap. This should make the life of everybody easier.
2. Inform one's letter writers about the offers.
3. Explore the program from which one has received an offer.

But there are things I'm not sure about:

i. If one is waitlisted at multiple programs, A, B, and C, should she inform the programs about this? Would this increase or decrease the chance of admission?

ii. If one is accepted at program A and waitlisted at B, while she prefers B:

a. Should she inform B about the offer from A? Would this increase or decrease the chance of admission at B?
b. Should she inform A about the waitlist from B? I guess this can depend on the programs: a top-10 elite program might be unimpressed or even put off by the fact that you're considering an offer from a much lower-ranked program? I'm not sure whether this makes sense.

iii. A more general question: how would programs react when hearing that a student they admitted/waitlisted has been admitted/waitlisted by other programs?

iv. Should one who's been admitted mention the fact that her significant other is waitlisted at the same program?

v. If one only has one offer, is there any room for her to negotiate about the funding, etc.?

I suppose many of the answers would vary from departments to departments, but I'd be very grateful if some general answers can be given. Thanks!!

These are really great questions, and I suspect that many applicants might benefit from hearing answers by those in the know. What do you all think, and why?

Comments

[Chivers Butler]

Re: iv, My SO and I applied together. In one case, I missed the deadline for one school, but when my SO was sent an offer and mentioned this fact, they encouraged me to submit an application. In a different case at a school where we be both applied but only one was accepted on the first round of offers, an email resulted in an offer to the other.

[H]

I can offer two bits of advice from my experience:
1. If you're on a waitlist for a program you would definitely accept an offer from, it is worth mentioning this. It might not be as useful if it's a top-10 program, but it can't really hurt you. A simple email saying, "I'm thrilled to be on your waitlist, and I wanted to inform you that I will accept an offer from your department immediately if it is given to me." However, only do this with one program. Don't be that person who tells every program you'll accept immediately if given an offer.
2. If you are already accepted to a program and your partner/significant other is waitlisted, you can tell the program that your decision is at least partly based on your partner's end result. This is especially useful if you don't share a last name and your relationship isn't obvious otherwise. A great time to do this is immediately after receiving an offer, send an email saying, "I'm delighted to receive an offer from your program and I would love to accept right now, but I have to consider my partner/significant other, N, and their decisions." I had the benefit of being put at the top of a waitlist after my partner got an offer from a program which had not yet made a waitlist, but I think it's worth mentioning in any case.
In general, I think you should be open with programs and see if they can do anything to help you. If you enroll, you'll be working with these people for several years, so these interactions can help you learn what kind of faculty you'll be working with.

[Applicant]

Re: Chivers Butler
This is really helpful!
"In a different case at a school where we be both applied but only one was accepted on the first round of offers, an email resulted in an offer to the other."
I wonder what happened in the middle? Did one of you email the DGS (or whoever sent out the offer) to inform them of the two-body situation? How long after the first offer was received?
Thanks!

[Chivers Butler]

Re: Applicant.

It was many years ago now, but I remember it being a very quick turnaround. We just replied to whomever sent the initial offer of acceptance to inform them of the two-body issue.