It can get better

Recently, Daily Nous posed a question to its readers, "Would you do it over again?" (the "over again" being going into academic philosophy). I have to confess that when I first came across the post, I was a bit irritated by it, and for essentially reasons implied by "Jeb's" comment, "Asking a tenured prof if they would do it again is like asking a lottery winner if they’d buy a ticket again." Basically, the discussion bore out Jeb's claim: people who did not make it in academic philosophy almost all said they wouldn't do it again, and all those who made it said they would. Ah, to the victors go the spoils...

Anyway, I don't have a good answer that question. Academic philosophy is a hard road, and, many would tell you, there is a lot of luck involved. What I do know, however -- and what I like to share from time to time, as a kind of encouragement to those who find themselves struggling (in grad school or beyond); since I could have really used some such encouragement during my more difficult times -- is that it can get better. I remember reading Ruth Millikan's astonishing Dewey Lecture recently -- it's astonishing for many reasons, but most of all for reporting her considerable personal-professional struggles -- and thinking to myself, "And I thought I went through a lot." Millikan endured a divorce, time in a mental institution, a severe back injury, a dissertation advisor who begged off to another university, and many other issues...and yet she made it.

Things were not quite so bad for me, though at times they were close. Among other things, late in grad school and early in my career as an Assistant Professor I developed severe congenital insomnia -- it runs in the family -- and often didn't sleep for days on end (teaching, you can imagine, was quite an adventure; and research was going terribly. It is well-treated now, thank goodness - I sleep like a baby.;)). I also had the unlucky experience of moving into what appeared to be a luxury apartment building when I got to Tampa, but which was actually a slum not built to code, with paper thin walls, in a very dangerous neighborhood, with unruly tenants up partying until 6 in the morning, and unethical landlords who bullied tenants. Finally, I also made mistakes in grad school, isolating myself when I should have been asking for help -- until it was almost too late.

These were not easy times. There were times I feared (not unreasonably) that I wouldn't make it through grad school. There were times I feared I would never publish. There have been times I have feared I would never get a tenure-track job (which I still do not have, but don't worry about so much anymore). It has not been an easy road. And while I would like to say, definitively, that it was all worth it, in some regards the jury is still out. Suppose five years from now I find myself still not having a TT job or tenure, or whatever. Would I be happy with my choice? In all honesty, I don't know! But what I do know is this. Whatever trials and tribulations you may be going through in academic philosophy, it can get better. If you work your tail off as a researcher, teacher, and colleague; if you put yourself out there and ask for help; if you're good to yourself; if you just try to enjoy your work as a teacher, colleague, and researcher for their own sake; and if you show good will to others -- then things can get better. There are of course no guarantees in life, well except for taxes (I, for one, am not sure about the whole death part of the common saying!). But still, for all that, things can get better. So, if you're struggling, know that there are others who have been through similar things. Know that there's only so much you can do, but whatever you can do, do it. If you want to be a philosopher, give it your all, keep your chin up in the hard times, and don't give up -- well, at least until they throw you out. That, at least, is my plan. I'm enjoying philosophy -- all of it, the research, the teaching, the student -- today more than I ever have, and the hard times have made it all the more worth it. :) Anyway, that's my pep talk for the day. :)

Comments

[Nathan]

Thank you for sharing these encouraging and reflective thoughts about your own personal challenges and triumphs. They are very helpful and much appreciated.