New Series: Things I Think I've Learned -- Thing #1, Don't be a shrinking violet

I've had my first serious case of blogger's block the past couple of weeks. However, I was invited to give a talk to the philosophy graduate students at Western Michigan University several weeks ago on how to flourish in graduate school and beyond, and I got to thinking again this morning -- in the midst of the job market -- about some of the things I think I've learned, and figured it might be helpful to share and discuss some of them in a new series of posts.

Although I am still looking for a tenure-track job, and so don't have a "recipe for success", in many ways I think I have a good vantage-point for seeing what leads to success and struggles in academic philosophy. As I have explained before, I've not only been through many struggles, but also been fortunate to enjoy some small successes and observed the kinds of things my friends and colleagues have done to succeed and/or struggle themselves.

So, what I'll try to do in this series of posts is give a general picture of things I think I've learned. As always, I'm more than happy to listen to dissent, and learn from others' experiences in the comments section. My primary hope in this series is to get a helpful conversation started about what it takes to flourish in graduate school and the profession more generally, so as to be of some service to those who (like me) who could use helpful guidance. That said, without further ado, here is my first "thing I think I've learned"...

Thing #1: Don't be a shrinking violet

Probably the biggest commonality I've seen among those who struggle in graduate schoold and/or the discipline -- something that I struggled with for a long time in graduate school -- is a pattern of shrinking away from others at difficult time. I've seen it happen to many a graduate student, particularly at the dissertation stage. Because dissertating is so tough, said student begins to get very insecure about their ideas. They avoid their advisor like the plague, they read and think a lot on their own, but don't share their work with faculty or fellow graduate students out of fear and insecurity. 

Conversely, the biggest commonality I've seen with people who flourish is how much they engage with others, sharing their work, even when it is uncomfortable, even when they say or write "stupid" things or make mistakes. By and large, the people I've seen succeed are those who put themselves and their work out there -- who are not afraid to make mistakes, but rather are willing to make them, make them publicly, and learn from them.

I've not only seem these things as commonalities with others; I've experienced the difference between in the most personal way. For a time in graduate school -- for a couple of years, really -- I struggled a great deal, toiling away on my own, too insecure to engage with others, avoiding my advisor. For a while, I thought I would never make it through. And, truth be told, I think I came close. One thing made the difference. I swallowed my pride, beat my insecurity, and simply asked for help, and put myself out there.

I approached my advisor, told him of my struggles and insecurities, approached a couple other faculty members and asked them for help. After all, what did I have to lose? And, the thing is, it worked. I had feared the judgment of my advisor and faculty. But when I asked for help, they were there for me. Not always in a "touchy-feely" way, but in a way that made it clear that they wanted to help me. I followed their advice. Then I started writing things and sharing them with other students and faculty in a dissertation reading group. Sometimes (oftentimes!) my work was crap -- but I shared it anyway. And I learned. Suddenly I was "in the conversation" again. And it saved me.

So, that's the first thing I think I've learned: don't be a "shrinking violet." It's natural to get insecure, especially in graduate school or when you're having trouble publishing. But shrinking away from others -- as a rule -- is never a good idea. Again, I've seen it lead to nothing good time and time again. Put yourself out there, make mistakes, and ask for help when you need it. There are people out there who want you to succeed, and who will be willing to help, if only you let them -- if only you put yourself out there. So, do it, and let them. It's way better than toiling away on your own. :)

Comments

[Rachel]

I completely agree.

Oddly, one consequence of constantly putting myself and my ideas out there is in the past year I've lined up 6 co-author projects with people. In a lot of ways, putting yourself out there is a positive feedback cycle where you'll start to have more and more opportunities presented *to* you, and the pace can just pick up.

[Marcus Arvan]

Rachel: I've had a similar experience. I only wish I'd learned the lesson sooner -- though better late than never I guess! :)