I'd like to follow-up Mark Alfano's post on buying beer with a post of my own on what I take to be another "small but consequential policy": seriously asking people how they are doing.
One of the things I've noticed over the years is how much "private" issues can derail a person's career. I've seen otherwise very-capable graduate students wash out of grad school for all kinds of reasons: loss of confidence, health issues (including mental health issues), failed relationships, etc. And I've similar things same happen to young faculty, such as those who have to move away from their partners/spouses for jobs. Even when "private" issues don't cause someone to wash out of the discipline, they can have marked effects on a person's performance. Allow me to share my own case.
I started out grad school at Syracuse when John Hawthorne, Ted Sider, Dean Zimmerman, William Alston, and Brian Weatherson were there. I was in a long-term relationship, and I completely rocked my classes (all A's over two years). When our faculty was gutted by Rutgers, I transferred to Arizona. Because my girlfriend at the time was still in school back east, I moved to Arizona without her. The relationship quickly crumbled, and since it was the first very long-term relationship I'd ever had, I didn't handle it well. I had trouble focusing. I didn't "rock" my classes by any means. Indeed, I think I did thoroughly unimpressive work, which was not a good way to start out in a new grad program. I thought the faculty didn't think much of me, and I lost confidence.
By the time I got around to (passing) my comprehensive exams, I still didn't have any confidence. I dawdled around for a couple of years looking for a dissertation topic, but hated philosophy -- mostly, I think, because I wasn't doing it very well -- and I got so frustrated that I wasted a ton of time playing in a rocknroll band. Probably not the best decision, I know, but at the time it seemed rational. I felt like I needed a hobby to distract myself from (A) a failed relationship, and (B) my rapidly declining confidence as a philosophy.
Anyway, I know I'm not alone in having these kinds of experiences. It's incredible how things in one's private life can bleed over to one's performance, and in turn profoundly affect one's career prospects. Of course, to a certain extent, people have to deal with their own personal issues. All the same, the more that I thought about it, the following thing puzzled me: I can't recall ever, either in graduate school (both at Syracuse or Arizona) or as a professional (with one exceptios I'll mention in a moment), being seriously asked by anyone, "How are you doing?" Of course, I got the, "How's things?" in the hallway. But, aside from one occasion, I never had anyone in a position of power and experience seriously inquire about my well-being.
I'm not sure failing to inquire about grad students or colleagues' well-being is morally blameworthy -- and I want to emphasize that both of the places I went to grad school (Syracuse and Arizona) were very supportive places, as have been the two places I've had jobs (UBC and Tampa). People have their own lives to live, their own work to do, etc. But what I do want to suggest that it can be very good to do it, and to have mentoring mechanisms in place to promote the practice. Here's why: small interventions can make all the difference in the world. I'll share a couple of instances that I shared before.
After a couple of years failing to find a dissertation topic -- and even having my prospectus cancelled at one point -- I approached two mentors for help. I told one that I didn't want to do anymore. He shared some wisdom: read, read, and read more until you come across a big idea by someone that just seems wrong. I told another that I had lost confidence. He reminded me of a paper I had written for him a few years before, how it had impressed him, and how he had confidence that I could produce good work. Slowly, but surely, both interventions led me out of the bad spot I was in and to successfully completing the PhD.
Grad students, colleagues, etc. are grad students, colleagues, etc. -- but they are also, at a deeper level, human beings, with human problems outside of the philosophy room; human beings who, with a little bit of outreach, we may be able to help when they are struggling. Can we prevent every grad student from washing out by showing real interest in their well-being? Probably not. But can actively inquiring about how someone is doing help? All I know is this: I think something like it saved me. In addition to hard work, the difference between finishing and possibly not finishing grad school was two small acts -- an expression of wisdom, and an expression of confidence -- by two mentors; acts for which I will forever be grateful, and hope to pay forward.
Marcus, I like this post. I'm not sure whether this has been discussed elsewhere (and it probably has), but, like teaching, mentorship can be something that faculty get thrown into with almost no preparation in their graduate school training or if their earlier jobs were in places where there were no graduate students (or the faculty never worked with graduate students). I think that the reason why poor mentorship, both individually and more in terms of mentoring "a community" of graduate students, is not felt to be morally blameworthy is because in philosophy we expect that no faculty as any training to do this, so expectations are extremely low. People assume that access to emotional and social support is not inherently part of graduate school. I really believe such support should be a major topic faculties discuss regarding how they approach mentorship. I bet some do, and I bet some departments are really on top of this. Then there are many others...
Posted by: Kyle Whyte | 04/10/2013 at 01:41 PM
Good post, Marcus. I've seen some fellow graduate students go to professors and relate their problems to faculty at my institution. They've generally been incredibly helpful and supportive. I think one issue is that the faculty simply don't know if the student is having a difficult time. In my experience, once they've been informed they are generally very understanding. Of course, there are the occasional faculty who simply aren't interested in students' problems and are not supportive at all.
Posted by: Matt DeStefano | 04/10/2013 at 02:53 PM
Thanks for your comments, guys.
Kyle: I agree with all of your points, especially the one about how people assume emotional and social support isn't inherently a part of graduate school. I think this is a part of a broader trend towards dehumanization in our society -- seeing our duties to people as limited by their roles (e.g. "it's not personal; just business"). I think this is a terrible trend, and that it's gotten really out of control. Have you ever thought, for instance, about how borderline offensive the term "human resources" is? As though employees are nothing more than that? Which of course is how people are more or less treated these days by their employers -- which is the problem. There is too much of a tendency to see others in terms of the roles they inhabit: as "graduate students", "job candidates", etc., oftentimes with seemingly little thought that there's a flesh and blood human being on the other end of that label. Anyway, thanks for bringing this up. I hope to write a post on it soon.
Matt: thanks for your comment as well. My experience was like yours. Once I sought out faculty, they were very supportive. The problem, though, is that many of us are taught or conditioned *not* to seek out help (e.g. out of fear that people will be judgmental). It took me, for example, about 3 years to marshal up the courage to do it. This is why I think there should be active outreach and mentoring programs -- because there are some who will just be too afraid to open up without it.
Posted by: Marcus Arvan | 04/10/2013 at 06:49 PM
I started out my graduate career in a department that cared deeply about mentoring and graduate student well-being, and naively left to complete my PhD with a more prestigious supervisor. In many ways, that was the right decision, because my interests had simply diverged too much from the original department's. But I had a very similar experience to yours in my second institution: no one asked how anyone was doing. Amongst my fellow graduate students, there were cases of serious depression and mental health issues, sudden death in a family, divorces, and sudden caregiver status for ailing parents, siblings, etc. Many of these ultimately resulted in dropping out of graduate school, or extended medical leave. It was remarkable how little the faculty knew about what was going on in their students' lives, and how unsympathetic they seemed as a result. Perhaps they would have been more sympathetic if they had known. Perhaps if the culture had been more supportive, some of these students would have been more forthcoming about their 'private' issues. Instead, we (graduate students) all knew about each others' problems, and I felt that we shouldered some of the burden for each other. But it is amazing how much a simple practice - of taking the time to ask how someone more junior than you is doing - could have changed lives and improved the climate of the department.
Posted by: JS | 04/10/2013 at 06:50 PM
Education is an ornament in prosperity and a refuge in adversity.
Posted by: Conflict Of Interest | 05/14/2013 at 12:25 PM