The vicissitudes of the job season -- and the accompanying insecurities it's given rise to -- got me thinking today about the plight of the philosophy PhD student who never makes it. It's a perennial issue, I know, but it's one that's always bothered me a great deal, and for several reasons. First, I've known people it's happened to (people who never made it through). Second, I was almost one of them myself (I floundered for a few years before I came up with anything resembling a decent dissertation topic). Third, it's a phenomenon that seems to happen in just about every program (I've never heard of a program that doesn't have some such students). Fourth, it's just a terrible, terrible thing to happen to someone. I remember how I felt when I seemed to be going down that path. I felt like I had no future. I felt worthless. It was a horrible, horrible place to be.
Two questions immediately present themselves:
- Why do some grad students flounder and/or never make it?
- What can be reasonably done to better prevent it from happening?
I'd be curious to hear what the rest of you, my fellow Cocooning friends, think. Here's some speculation on my part.
My experience was that students who never make it tend to be ones who, for some reason or another, completely lose their confidence. Stage 1: they become convinced -- usually due to a confluence of forces (a difficult prof, competitive fellow students, an insecure personality, etc.) -- that they suck at philosophy. Stage 2: because they are convinced that they suck, they begin to hate doing philosophy (doing it is just a constant reminder to them in their own head that, yes, they suck). Stage 3: because they begin to hate doing philosophy, they become less productive. Stage 4: because they become less productive, they become all the more convinced that, yes, they really suck. Stage 5: because they are convinced that they really suck, they become even less productive. Etc. It's all a continuing downward spiral from there.
That, at any rate, is what I've seen happen -- which brings us to question (2): what can be reasonably done to prevent it? There are, I suppose, numerous possibilities. Programs could be more supportive, I guess, in terms of protecting their grad students' psyches. I take it that to some, this will sound too much like "babysitting." We're not babysitters, right? We're professors. Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. Here, though, is another way.
I've already told you that, for a while in grad school, I was one of the floundering. How, at the end of the day, did I make it through? As far as I can tell, one person really made the difference: the man who ultimately became my dissertation advisor -- Tom Christiano. When I just didn't think I had what it took -- and when I felt that no one believed in me (certainly I didn't!) -- Tom showed that he had faith in me. He reminded me of the paper I had written for his course on the ethics of war, and that the paper I'd written for him was good; he conveyed to me that I did have what it takes. And that was all it took. One person showing faith in me. I started to read more, think more, write again, etc. Maybe it's babysitting. I don't know. But here's what I do know. One person, in essence, saved me from the abyss, just by showing some faith in me. I know it's corny, but I'll always be thankful to Tom in more ways, and more deeply, than words can ever express. I can only hope that someday, at some point in my life, I'll be able to help someone else in a similar way.
So, I guess those are my thoughts. My experience has been that (A) grad students who flounder or wash out tend to get caught in a downward spiral of self-doubt, and (B) all it can take is one professor's faith to help right the ship. What thinks ye, Fellow Cocoon-ish People?
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